I’m sure you’ve run into them before. The joy thieves live and work with us. They habitually steal the wonderment, happiness and yes, joy, from our lives. Sadly, they often do it to themselves as well.
They have giveaway opening lines:
• “What a great piece of jewelry! Too bad you don’t have the right dress to wear with it!” (Of course, you’re wearing a dress you think goes great with it)
• “Really, you actually like living there? Interesting!” (About the home or location you’ve just excitedly chosen for yourself.)
• “You lost four pounds! How wonderful. Now remember not to lose too fast or your skin will get saggy!” (This wonderful piece of advice is usually given just as you’ve managed to fit into a new pants size.)
• “Great car! Of course, I could never have one of those because…”( And the reasons are often too numerous to casually ignore, but are given to explain why this oh-too-precious individual couldn’t possibly make do with your cute, but completely unacceptable vehicle.)
If you’re quick to catch on, you can avoid repetitions of this type of interaction by simply refusing to engage. Don’t tell Madeline-the-Magpie that you are wearing a size smaller. Don’t give Rod-the-Downtrodden a reason to speculate about your car by never revealing which one is yours. Unfortunately, this is a lot of work – the suppression of your naturally bubbly personality. There’s another, very workable, way to trim the sails of your joy snatcher.
A simple, well-placed comment like - “Oh, really? It’s a good thing I really don’t care what people think, huh?” - will often do the trick, and a side-benefit is that they are left speechless. Such a blessing.
The most important thing is to keep on trucking. Don’t let the joy stealers walk away with your happiness. Dwelling on their negativity can be worse that the actual comments they make. So, let it go.
Great advice. Now, I’m off to try to take it myself. I have a joy stealer to contend with in the next few minutes. Don’t worry, I can handle her.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Heads-Down Effort
I have been granted a period of creativity lately, like I haven’t had in years. It’s wonderful and it’s scary. The beauty of it is that I can feel the words and ideas flowing from me like water, that easy, literally. The rough part is that I must make hay while the sun shines. Terrible metaphor since it’s been raining without remorse for over a week, yet truer words were never spoken.
In the creative life, there are too many inspiration blockages, times when you can’t squeeze a new idea out no matter how hard you try. When it’s coming effortlessly the world is a wild and wonderful place, causing the artist or writer or choreographer, whatever, to lose sleep and trip lightly to their place of creative power and watch as miracles occur.
Most of us have had the revelation that the end product is not wholly our own. Surely, there are those who will disagree with me, but as I say, most of the creators I’ve spoken to about this agree that there is a power of some kind that guides our hands and hearts. Many times, especially when I was writing screenplays, I would wake the next day after a long, midnight writing session and not recognize the words I had put down on paper. Others have told me similar stories.
So, when you feel sanctified you must work. Otherwise, it would be like crassly throwing your blessings into the face of God or the Universe, whichever you relate to. So, work you do. And then guilt ensues when you are not working. It takes a heads-down effort to reap the absolute most possible from these times of riches.
Heads-down is more difficult for me to do, nowadays, in part, I think because I am older now. But I try. I really do. And when I give in to dinner and a movie, oh how I chastise myself. So, today, after dinner and a movie at my sister’s house, I am beating myself about the head and shoulders (not literally you understand) and vowing to put my head down and plow forward for the rest of the week.
Please send your supportive thoughts. I could use them.
In the creative life, there are too many inspiration blockages, times when you can’t squeeze a new idea out no matter how hard you try. When it’s coming effortlessly the world is a wild and wonderful place, causing the artist or writer or choreographer, whatever, to lose sleep and trip lightly to their place of creative power and watch as miracles occur.
Most of us have had the revelation that the end product is not wholly our own. Surely, there are those who will disagree with me, but as I say, most of the creators I’ve spoken to about this agree that there is a power of some kind that guides our hands and hearts. Many times, especially when I was writing screenplays, I would wake the next day after a long, midnight writing session and not recognize the words I had put down on paper. Others have told me similar stories.
So, when you feel sanctified you must work. Otherwise, it would be like crassly throwing your blessings into the face of God or the Universe, whichever you relate to. So, work you do. And then guilt ensues when you are not working. It takes a heads-down effort to reap the absolute most possible from these times of riches.
Heads-down is more difficult for me to do, nowadays, in part, I think because I am older now. But I try. I really do. And when I give in to dinner and a movie, oh how I chastise myself. So, today, after dinner and a movie at my sister’s house, I am beating myself about the head and shoulders (not literally you understand) and vowing to put my head down and plow forward for the rest of the week.
Please send your supportive thoughts. I could use them.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Fashion Sense
I have had reason lately to reassess the “rules” of fashion and believe I have managed to come up with a few of my own that should, by rights, trump those of accepted style. You’ll see what I mean.
Rule #1 – Wear White Anytime
If you have the good fortune to have a piece of white clothing that has managed to survive everyday life without obtaining a cluster of stains, by all means, celebrate that fact and wear it – whenever – and post-Labor Day rules be damned.
Rule #2 – Shoes Are Exempt
When it comes to shoes you love, whether you can wear them or not, ignore the advice, “If you haven’t worn it in a year, toss it.” No! If you haven’t worn them in a year, chances are they hurt your feet. So, instead, save them for those moments when all you must do is alight from a vehicle, walk twenty yards or so and sit yourself down. Those painful shoes won’t have a chance to kill your feet, and you’ll look good.
P.S. Try to find a chair or barstool where your legs, probably greatly enhanced by these killer shoes, will drape nicely in view of the rest of the establishment.
Rule #3 – Happiness Is Queen
If the garment makes you happy wear it! And for goodness sake, don’t apologize for doing so! Life is too short and joy too rare to give up something you love because you spot a disapproving glance from another. Frankly, she’s probably wishing she could pull something like that off with confidence. So, you go girl!
Rule #4 – Let Our Toes Be Freed
About this time of year, I find I miss my toes. In the dead of winter I have treated myself to two different pedicures, because I wanted to see those delightful appendages decorated. Then comes the question, “Do I wear sandals in 36 degree weather?” Of course, you do! What is the point if you don’t show off those $30 toes? Go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? You have cold toes? So?
That’s about it for now. I’ve dealt the fashion world a large enough blow for the moment, assuming every one of my readers chooses to follow my errant advice. I hope you do – as long as it makes you happy!
Rule #1 – Wear White Anytime
If you have the good fortune to have a piece of white clothing that has managed to survive everyday life without obtaining a cluster of stains, by all means, celebrate that fact and wear it – whenever – and post-Labor Day rules be damned.
Rule #2 – Shoes Are Exempt
When it comes to shoes you love, whether you can wear them or not, ignore the advice, “If you haven’t worn it in a year, toss it.” No! If you haven’t worn them in a year, chances are they hurt your feet. So, instead, save them for those moments when all you must do is alight from a vehicle, walk twenty yards or so and sit yourself down. Those painful shoes won’t have a chance to kill your feet, and you’ll look good.
P.S. Try to find a chair or barstool where your legs, probably greatly enhanced by these killer shoes, will drape nicely in view of the rest of the establishment.
Rule #3 – Happiness Is Queen
If the garment makes you happy wear it! And for goodness sake, don’t apologize for doing so! Life is too short and joy too rare to give up something you love because you spot a disapproving glance from another. Frankly, she’s probably wishing she could pull something like that off with confidence. So, you go girl!
Rule #4 – Let Our Toes Be Freed
About this time of year, I find I miss my toes. In the dead of winter I have treated myself to two different pedicures, because I wanted to see those delightful appendages decorated. Then comes the question, “Do I wear sandals in 36 degree weather?” Of course, you do! What is the point if you don’t show off those $30 toes? Go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? You have cold toes? So?
That’s about it for now. I’ve dealt the fashion world a large enough blow for the moment, assuming every one of my readers chooses to follow my errant advice. I hope you do – as long as it makes you happy!
Monday, February 2, 2009
Napping On A Warm Day
Truly, there is nothing more sensual or enticing that a nap on a beautiful, warm day.
I owned a home about ten years ago, in the San Fernando Valley, which had a large maple tree outside my two bedroom windows. They formed a corner where I wisely placed my bed.
I loved this little bungalow, which at 912 square feet was all it could be called, and especially cherished my springtime naps in this tree-shaded bedroom. Opening the windows allowed a lovely breeze to waft across me as I lay half-in and half-out of sleep. I remember thinking that the touch of the puffs of air felt silken.
Well, yesterday, after having conquered most of my plans for the day, I lay down in Wanda, snuggled into my nest of a bed and reached for the windows. It wasn’t exactly spring weather, but it was definitely warm enough to warrant some fresh air.
I was so pleasantly surprised. I nearly duplicated the San Fernando cottage experience. It was absolutely fabulous.
I really had no need of a nap. I wasn’t truly tired. I simply wanted to luxuriate in the swirl of warm air that surrounded me. I picked a time when the sun shone directly into one window affording me the effect of lying on a beach soaking up the rays – except that I was under a thick comforter!
Anyway, I highly recommend the habit of an afternoon nap – at any time of the year – but especially when you can call Mother Nature indoors and enjoy her soft caress.
I owned a home about ten years ago, in the San Fernando Valley, which had a large maple tree outside my two bedroom windows. They formed a corner where I wisely placed my bed.
I loved this little bungalow, which at 912 square feet was all it could be called, and especially cherished my springtime naps in this tree-shaded bedroom. Opening the windows allowed a lovely breeze to waft across me as I lay half-in and half-out of sleep. I remember thinking that the touch of the puffs of air felt silken.
Well, yesterday, after having conquered most of my plans for the day, I lay down in Wanda, snuggled into my nest of a bed and reached for the windows. It wasn’t exactly spring weather, but it was definitely warm enough to warrant some fresh air.
I was so pleasantly surprised. I nearly duplicated the San Fernando cottage experience. It was absolutely fabulous.
I really had no need of a nap. I wasn’t truly tired. I simply wanted to luxuriate in the swirl of warm air that surrounded me. I picked a time when the sun shone directly into one window affording me the effect of lying on a beach soaking up the rays – except that I was under a thick comforter!
Anyway, I highly recommend the habit of an afternoon nap – at any time of the year – but especially when you can call Mother Nature indoors and enjoy her soft caress.
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