I’m involved, right now, in writing a life history for a member of my extended family, a gentleman of 81 years, who is dealing with terminal cancer and most probably hasn’t got long to live. I feel so lucky to have been asked to do this.
I think the world has probably perceived him mainly as a little gruff and certainly as reserved. But I’ve been granted a window into his core and, boy, has the world got it wrong.
Like many men of his generation, he has spent a lifetime trying to emulate his father, who in this case was a tough cookie, bred on the tough streets of Chicago. He also had a tender core, just like his son, but that was something others rarely glimpsed. Both men were mainly concerned with providing as well as they could for their families.
I have a newfound respect for this generation. Besides having served in the military in vast numbers, men born in that era didn’t have an easy row to hoe in many other ways. There were strict expectations of these fellows and being carefree or self-involved wasn’t acceptable. Giving up dreams and settling into family life was the norm. Adventures were limited to that short period between leaving their childhood homes and entering marriage, if there even was a break between the two.
For the most part, these men succeeded, which the Baby Boom Generation can attest to, because we are the ones to benefit from the efforts of this generation to save significantly and provide for their own retirement, as well as leaving their children something when they pass on.
They are a tough group of guys to try to open up. It isn’t the first time I’ve tried it. It took nearly six hours to get to the meat of this man’s character. But it was so worth the effort.
Next time you spot an outwardly grumpy old man, see if you can’t get him to tell you about his life a bit. Really listen to what he has to say. You may walk away with a nugget of wisdom or two…and a new friend.
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