On Finishing A Thing

I have been working on my second novel for two years now, sporadically. It has gone through several major changes in direction, but most recently I changed it to a story about one person to a story about four. In the process I had to dump eight thousand words and 32 pages. I’ve recently added 80 pages and 16,000 words back, which made me take a hard look at how much further I had to go to finish a first draft.

I only need about 150 pages or less to finish the story and have a novel sized manuscript. That translates to about 30,000 words. I consistently write about 1000 words an hour. Do you realize that means I only have 30 more hours of writing to be done with my first draft?

In real life, that means if I focus for the next 30 days, and write one hour a day on the manuscript, I’ll be ready to start rewrites by the middle of September. That’s huge for me.

I wrote a novella in 1995, which is a manuscript that falls somewhere between a short story and a novel, in my case, at about 160 pages. It was called “Annie’s Man.”

I made the mistake of sending it off for a seal of approval to the wrong person. When it came back marked in red with grammatical corrections and no comments on the story, I was crushed and put it away. About a year ago, I pulled it back out and reread it. I cried three times. It was pretty darn good. It could use a rewrite, which is what I would have done back in 1995, with a little encouragement.

However, with the help of “The Artist’s Way” a book by Julia Cameron, I’ve slowly worked my way back into writing to completion. The book takes you through all the possible pitfalls, and the guidance is what I’ve needed to get to the end.

Now, admittedly, I’m not at the end yet. But I know I will be. And soon. For me, seeing the end of a thing is as good as finishing it. And that’s what I will do this time.

Parts of the book are good now. After the rewrite, I expect the novel will be quite good. This isn’t a big pat on the back for me, because I’ve come to the realization that my writing is something that comes from both inside and outside myself. Yes, the source for my stories comes from inside, the life I’ve lived and the situations I’ve been in, but the writing itself is often from another source. I choose to call it the Universe.

When I’m in rhythm with the Universe, and allow it to flow through me, the writing flows as well. There are times I write something, and go back to read it and don’t remember writing that passage. I’m awed by what’s on the page. That’s when I know that something besides me was at work.

However, finishing a thing is up to me. It is about not allowing myself to get in the way, to bull through the thing until it’s done. That has not occurred for me very often. It is the biggest battle of my life – completion.

This time, I really feel this novel is going to make it, big. And I will complete it no matter what. I give myself three months to rewrite it, so by the first of 2009, I’ll be sending it out to agents and editors.

So, now that I’ve put it in writing, I’ll have to follow through won’t I? So, we have a date. Look for an update after New Year’s Day. You can say you read me when I was just a blogger!

Progress Report - Life After High School

This beautiful young lady is my niece Molly, whose graduation inspired the beginning of this blog. In the picture she is talking with one of the children she helps to feed everyday in the Dominican Republic, and when possible provides some medical care.

She's on a mission through her church, not for the first time. I know she went last summer, as well, but also perhaps the summer before. Molly is a practicing Christian. I don't have a religious bone in my body, but I so admire her convictions and most of all, her actions.

After last year's mission, I asked her to share some of her pictures with me. I watched as she scrolled on her computer past the faces of smiling children, happy to get a meal and some beach scenes, but then she stopped on a picture that choked me with emotion. It still does, frankly.

The picture before showed her removing some skin from a child's burn with a razor blade. The next picture, which took my breath away, was a shot of Molly as she turned towards the camera, her expression hidden from the child. There was incredible empathy in her eyes and pain on her face. She felt for this child.

Molly wants to be a nurse. I hope with all my heart that she's able to retain that empathy, because with that single quality she'll always be able to change her little piece of the world.

The organization she's working with is now in the process of setting up a real clinic in the Dominican Republic and asking for contributions. I'm sending a small check today. Here's a short quote from their latest report, actually written by Molly.

"We currently do not have a building for our medical clinic. Our office is now being used as our make shift clinic but we are in need of a permanent multi purpose building. This will be a chapel, a much needed school room for our kids and a room for our medical clinic. The need for a clinic is overwhelming, last week we opened our doors for a medical outreach and cut off at over 300! Many of these were sick little children."

Below is where I'm sending my check, just in case you're moved to do the same-

Field, shipping and correspondence, address (business address):
Rick & Carie Bernard
DMG 15171
100 Airport Ave
Venice, FL 34285

I used to see ads on television, when I had one, for groups like Save The Children. I never got out of my chair and took the action to help. Here I sit, comfortable in my little plot of the world, and this time it's my own niece I would be failing to support. So, I'm off to write and post a check in a minute.

First, because I know Molly will read this, I want to thank her and all the others in the world, who don't just talk the talk, but also walk the walk. I'm going to aspire to be more like her.

Be well!

On Retaining Our Childlike Wonder

This has been a recurring theme for me, but I think it's partly because I feel it is so important to hold on to so many of the qualities children naturally have and we grow ourselves out of.

The other night the trailer park I live in had a power outage. Actually, it was pretty widespread, but since I don't have a television anymore I didn't know that until the next day.

Several of my neighbors came out into the circular driveway that other neighborhoods would laughingly call a street, milling around and vocally worrying about how long the lights would be out.

I was right in the midst of it, thinking about how long my food would last in the refrigerator and what the morning would be like getting ready for work if the power didn't come on by then. After a few minutes, we all drifted back to our own units, my section is almost exclusively travel trailers and RVs. I almost went into Wanda to read by the lights powered by my alternate battery, but as I was climbing in I spied one of my votive candles.

Instead of retreating into the snugness of my bed, I opted for sitting outside with the candle for company. What a great experience it was! Because of the power being out, there were no televisions blaring or even the sound of air conditioners, which are exceptionally loud in trailers, in case you didn't know. What I heard as I sat there was the chirp of crickets - just like in a campground.

I threw my feet up on the "visitor's" chair and relaxed into my own collapsible sling chair with arms and a spot for my drink, sipped on a Kaluha and cream, and listened to the night. I faced myself toward the retaining wall behind Wanda, which keeps us from falling into the tiny creek that runs behind her. Along with the sound show, I could enjoy the rustle of the leaves coming from the big old trees that hang over both Wanda and the creek.

Because it was so quiet, I also heard the squirrels scrambling across the branches and rustling the leaves themselves a bit.

Just about the time I was really getting into it, the power came back on and I couldn't help the disappointed "oh" that escaped my lips. I could have sat there another hour before finally heading to bed, and relished every minute of it.

This is the type of enjoyment of simple things that I can clearly remember having as a kid. I remember traveling across country in back of my folk's station wagon, which had a slanted back window that I could press my head against, propped up on a pillow, and watch the stars go by. That was pure bliss.

These moments are given to us everyday, but the adult world enters with its worries and cares and yanks them away if we're not careful. I almost lost my half-hour of joy, worrying about silly things that were non-issues just moments later. Developing and maintaining our child-like wonder should be a high priority for us as adults. I swear it will keep us sane.

Here's to wishing you a short power outage in your life soon.

PS - the photo is of another of my tiny pleasures, a tiny garden!